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Wednesday, November 12, 2003

WEDNESDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK 

Watched the first half of Monday night’s Eagles-Packers game with the usual suspects at Al's Bar and Cheddarwurst Emporium. (I can report no mob of torch-wielding female dwarves, but I left at halftime.)

The popcorn was fresh, which happens on occasion at Al's. By some principle of karmic necessity, the two bags of salted-in-the-shell peanuts we bought were stale. We ate them anyway. (We always eat the popcorn, too.)

Sideline reporter Lisa Guerrero, wrapped in innumerable layers and sporting some red thing on her head that looked like a stocking-cap pom-pom had dined on the rest of the cap and was eyeing her forehead for dessert, helpfully told us that it was raining. She looked far colder than she had any right to look, considering that the game-time temp at Lambeau was a balmy (for a November night in northern Wisconsin) 39 degrees and that a not insignificant percentage of the cheddar-helmeted, turpentine-belching crowd was shirtless.

Brett Favre, his broken right thumb gamely gripping the damp ball, threw the thing backwards so many times that I thought he was auditioning for Alan Alda’s role in a remake of Paper Lion. Meanwhile his counterpart Donovan McNabb appeared to be actively trying to prove Rush Limbaugh correct. This made for a less than compelling half of football.

The Packers somehow managed to score just before halftime, and as I left I figured that, given the way the two teams were playing, this was an effectively insurmountable lead. So I was a bit surprised to pick up the paper Tuesday morning and see that the Packers had squandered their edge and lost, 17-14, thus preserving the Vikings’ undeserved two-game lead in the stumblebum NFC North.

No one ought to win this division, least of all a team that can give up 42 points to the San Di-frickin'-ego Chargers; Colby Cosh’s grudging paean to Doug Flutie aptly described the Chargers’ un-manning of the Vikes as “humiliation, like a grade-seven nerd getting a snowbank facewash from a wolfpack of grade nines.” Looks like a three-legged sack race to 9-7 and an ignominious first-round playoff loss.

When does spring training start?

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