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Friday, November 05, 2004

LET'S HOPE IT DOESN'T COME TO THIS 

Well hello there! In the unlikely event that someone missed me, I've spent the last several weeks preparing for and then recuperating from Atomizer's wedding toast (I thought it was supposed to be a roast; sorry, man!). Seems that Bush fellow performed rather well in my absence. Maybe we won't get killed in the next four years after all.

On the other hand, maybe W will. I hate to say this, but the odds that someone will try to assassinate the President seem pretty high. For years the wacko Bush haters having been counting on booting him out of office the civilized way, but now that the stubborn electorate has yanked their little party away, what are they going to do? Rejoin the ranks of the sane? Seems unlikely, given early indications.

I raised this theory with an old law-school friend, and he pointed out (to quote his e-mail) that "it's hard to imagine a card carrying member of the Michael Moore brigade being a decent shot," and that the Secret Service should never be underestimated (he had a brief inside experience with them during the 2000 campaign and came away very impressed). Fair points. Remember Squeaky Fromme? Then again, handguns have become a bit passe in this line of work--you've got your trucks filled with fertilizer, your shoulder-fired missiles, your suicide bombers, your hijacked airplanes, etc., etc. Wackos get pretty inventive when it comes to killing.

Plus, look at our history. Four of our presidents--almost 10%--have been killed in office, Reagan missed being number five by the slimmest of margins (and what the hell would the world be like now if Reagan had served for two months instead of eight years?), and several others have been subject to attempts. I mean, wackos tried to kill Gerald frickin' Ford twice, fer cryin' out loud, and he wasn't the object of white-hot hate like W is. On the other hand, Nixon was hated that way, and he lived to a ripe old age. So who knows. Just keep your fingers crossed.

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