Wednesday, December 07, 2005
11. Colleen - "I listen to a Mennonite oriented radio station from southern Manitoba." What, only Mennonite-oriented?! Where do I have to go to get my fix of 100%, full-on, straight-no-chaser Mennonite radio? Northern Manitoba?
10. Will Allen - "[T]he reincarnation of Barry Goldwater could be elected Mayor of Minneapolis and that wouldn't change." The reincarnation of Barry Goldwater was running? Why didn't anyone tell me? Sure beats voting for Randy Kelly.
9. headhunter - "I'll never forget Mallard banging chicks in the parking lot and threatening the bartenders to 'make it strong!'" We'll assume he's referring to former All Pro Viking defensive tackle Keith "My arms are more powerful than your guns" Millard-with-an-i, not an anthropomorphic, bibulous, sexually predatory duck.
8. JB Doubtless - "Yeah, Will, that's it. Your rapist's wit nails it again!" Um . . . what?
7. JB Doubtless - "I don't like mustard on baloney sandwiches." OK, that "rapist's wit" comment may have been a head-scratcher, but this is just plain sick. No mustard on your baloney sandwiches?! What the hell is wrong with you?
6. drunkard - "Technically, anyplace you live has 100 percent mortality if you wait long enough." Nice one, but points deducted for reminding me of John Maynard Keynes' famous quip "In the long run we are all dead." I hate Keynes.
5. Saint Paul - "Trust the wisdom of markets." at 3:15, "Will - irrational exuberance?" at 4:08. When I get the chiropractor's bill for my whiplash treatment, I'm sending it to you, Saint Paul.
4. Nordeaster - "I have to say, I didn't think the Quest was very scary when I saw the Barenaked Ladies there." Au contraire. That's the scariest thing I've heard for a long time.
3. Terry - "Each of the three barmaids was heavily pregnant and each had a black eye." Res ipsa loquitur.
2. angryclown - "Ooga-booga! Made ya flinch!" plus "Dude, *tell* me you returned fire." Now that's a rapist's wit. Angryclown, I think I love you.
1. LearnedFoot - "I like where I live. So piss off." And get the hell out of my yard!
I just had a bologna (and salami) sandwich just an hour ago - with plenty of mustard.
I bet JB puts ketchup on a hot dog.
Your psychiatrist's bill, that's the one I'm worried about receivng.
Yes, a whimsical tone is difficult to communicate in the written form. But on the bright side, forced misunderstanding is the foundation of cheap shot blogging (that is to say, nearly all blogging). I'm glad I could provide enough of a softball to inspire to get back into the game. Consider it my Xmas gift to you.
This is JB.
The line rapist's wit is from Dumb and Dumber, genius.
By 3:38 PM, at
R-Five: Ketchup on a hot dog? Will the condiment abuse of sausage meat never cease?
Saint Paul: I can give you an exact amount for the psychiatrist's bill. It was the $213.05 I spent at the Sam's Club liquor store this afternoon. As for the rest, well, I had to get to 11 somehow.
JB: Dumb and Dumber, eh? Never seen it. I can't stand that highbrow shit. "Genius," though, is a welcome change from "prick," "douchebag," and "dickhead."