Tuesday, December 09, 2003


2Blowhards (an excellent blog I plan to petition the Warrior Monk to include on our blogroll) had a post several weeks ago entitled "Greats I Don't Get." The post invited visitors to answer the question "what indisputably great art do you blank out on?" Of course, it's lovely to have such an erudite writer give his readers permission (nay, practically beg them) to dislike some great art. I read the post, and eventually some of the comments (there were over 100) with interest, and then realized that I was way out of my league. So I'd like to go downmarket a bit and pose (and, of course answer) the the question "what indisputably popular Internet form do you blank out on?" Well, I don't get Internet personality quizzes.

It seems everyone loves personality quizzes. I don't; I've never even been slightly tempted to take one. But I'm kind of fascinated by their very existence. You can find out where you stand on the political compass (even the Warrior Monk succumbed to this one) or, more specifically, whether you are a neoconservative, an imperialist or a fascist.

For the less political among you, you can find out about which characters from any number of movies (Pulp Fiction, The Princess Bride, Pirates of The Caribbean, Star Wars, Dune), television shows (M*A*S*H, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and even Saved By The Bell; there are too many Friends quizzes for me to provide a link) and books (Lord of the Rings and its other trilogy mates, Harry Potter, Lolita and even The Brothers Karamazov) you most resemble. Feeling juvenile? Find out which Teletubby, Powerpuff Girl or Winnie-The-Pooh character is your evil twin.

Are you you a geek? A freak? The web knows all. Are you pretentious? A complainer? Or, god help us, a romantic, perhaps a jealous one?

If you learn you are boring, you can find out whether you are a baby bore, car bore or rock bore. And then what? Professional help, I suppose.

Well, are you a Positive Thinker? No? Don't despair! Find out your true thinking "style"
and then get advice about which college would best benefit from it.

Some folks evidently care to know what flavor Tic-Tac they would be, were they a Tic-Tac. Not a Tic-Tac fan? Maybe you'd like to know what animal cracker, fruit, dessert, wine or even pattern (?) you *really* are.

Hey! Computer nerds! Want to know which operating system, HTML color or computer virus best describes you? No takers?

But don't think all quizzes are so frivolous! You can find out how many days you have left before departing this vale of tears (Wait! perhaps you should first select a religion, with expert help of course). The carrot (or stick)? Your designated circle of hell.

Oh yes, and there's my favorite: How Gullible Are You?

Legal Disclaimer: SPITBULL IS PROVIDING THESE LINKS TO YOU ONLY AS A CONVENIENCE, AND THE INCLUSION OF ANY LINK DOES NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT BY SPITBULL OF THE SITE. Especially because I haven't tried any of them. I remain, to this day, an Internet Quiz Virgin because I Just Don't Get Them. Please explain.

UPDATE: Virginia Postrel at Dynamist is California and Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit is 31.25% owned by his weblog (both via quizzes I didn't include because the post was already so long). Atomizer at FraterLibertas and The Chosen Monkey at Infinite Monkeys are both plaid. And me? I am .... still stumped.


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