Thursday, August 05, 2004


Nicholas Kristof brings news of a reinterpretation of the Koran to our shores (The Guardian told Britain back in 2002, the Germans found out a year earlier when the book was first published and the Blogosphere probably knew back in oh, 1995 or so): those virgins Muslim "martyrs" think they're getting in heaven? Mistranslation. They're really raisins. But white raisins. That makes it special, doesn't it?

Yes it's old news to many, but not to Times readers (Pulitzer? Pulitzer?) and not to many martyr wannabes.

But my favorite explanation of what martyrs really get upon departing this earth remains the Onion's classic report "Hijackers Suprised to Find Selves In Hell":
I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?


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