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Sunday, September 05, 2004

GOOFBALLS FOR PRESIDENT 

Yes, I contribute immeasurably to assuring that Spitbull retains its position as the lightweight member of the Northern Alliance. I feel filled with pride.

But I can't rest on my laurels. My latest offering: how on earth did I miss Communists for Kerry in my exhaustive survey of Internet lawn signs? Clearly they are a worthy counterpoint to Billionaires for Bush. Indeed, a confusing confrontation between the two ensued at the RNC. As the Communists described it:
Enterpreneurs and rugged individualists, they took a break from painful decision making to run in herds through the park and to chant some meaningless but energizing slogans - as if they were some real organized communists.

But of course they are no communists, they are greedy capitalist pigs and bloodsucking parasites, Gulag meat whose estates will soon be confiscated for the common good and whose widows will be redistributed so as to benefit the most needy.
But Mr. "Fags for Bush" is my favorite. According to all accounts, he is for real: a 41-year-old businessman from Austin, Texas who says: "People ask why I want to vote for a guy who will ban gay marriage. I don't want to get married; I want to live. If al-Qa'ida wins, I'll be the first one up against the wall." (he's reportedly a ProtestWarrior). And, he came prepared to convince folks that he is indeed gay:
When one chum came up to him and said "You're not a real fag", the guy started dancing and singing show tunes. After like 10 seconds of this, the chum was yelling "All right! All right! You are a fag!!
(Testimony from a commenter to Slash Point.) Now, where's the Fags for Bush website?

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