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Friday, October 08, 2004

DRUNKBLOGGING DEBATE #2 

Pre-debate preparation: what to drink? Some blogger claims the official beer of the debate is Pilsner Urquell. A debate about the debate beer ensues.

The official beer of tonight’s debate has been changed to something actual men drink. Guinness Stout.

Those previously in charge of selecting the official beer have just been sacked.

I'm a traditionalist, myself: martini.

8:02. OK. Martini ready. Here goes. All times Central (CST). I'm so excited! I feel like a pundit. Well, a blogpundit anyway. Sip drink.

8:03. Introductions. Are Bush and Kerry holding hands? Naw. Just a weird angle.

8:07. Kerry says he hasn't changed his mind, isn't wishy-washy. Three year old wants me to read her a story. How about a video instead? Bigger sip of drink.

8:14. I'm back. Martinis are good. I should have one more often. Mellows me out. Gives me more patience for the three year old. Oh yeah. Debate. U.N. sucks. Kerry says we should have used Smart Diplomacy.

8:16. Kerry is debating himself now--he's doing a Rumsfeld imitation!

8:22. Bush's goal isn't to make popular decisions but right decisions. A 2nd martini, however, is both popular and right.

8:31. The draft bugaboo. The wonders of technology save manpower => no draft. But what can the wonders of technology do for martini-making? It still takes far too long to mix a martini well. Plus, you still need the same amount of manpower. Luckily, I have drafted a personal bartender for this debate.

8:35. Maybe I'd better slow down. On the drinking, I mean. The live blogging seems to be slowing down by itself.

8:41. Drugs should cure not kill. Hear! hear! Plus they should be cheaper. Generic. Brand drugs. Discount cards. $1.14 for drugs! Oh hell. I'm hammered. Go read one of the other live bloggers.

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