Tuesday, November 28, 2006
COMPUTER DOPE
The way to get a sport taken seriously is to ... administer drug tests?
Chess's world governing body will introduce dope testing at the Asian Games this week, although the sport's top official in Doha said he had no idea how drugs could enhance chess performance.Russian chess grandmaster Anatoly Karpov's opinion on the doping non-scandal:
* * *
Drug testing is the latest move by the World Chess Federation (FIDE) to raise international standards in the hope of making chess an Olympic sport in the future.
There is need for a legal piece of proof. In fact nobody knows what a doping could be in chess. The main doping in chess is an opportunity to get access to a computer during the game. This real kind of doping should be monitored and prevented.Zero tolerance. Expel the geeks!
Friday, November 17, 2006
POLITICALLY INCORRECT GENES
I had no idea -- there are genes with "offensive" names that are in the process of being "rebranded." Some soon-to-be no-no's:
- "lunatic fringe"
- "one-eyed pinhead"
- "headcase"
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
YEAH YEAH GO VOTE
... but stop harassing me about it. I've stopped answering the telephone or the door. My trigger finger for political TV ads is well oiled (my remote control, however, is taking a beating).
There seems to be a little mini-scandal going on over robocalling. I wouldn't know; I hang up too fast to even hear who or what they're calling about. And the Monk? He practices phone blackout rules even when there isn't an election in the offing.
UPDATE: We prefer the old-fashioned lawn sign pilferage method of influencing elections in Minnesota thank you very much.
There seems to be a little mini-scandal going on over robocalling. I wouldn't know; I hang up too fast to even hear who or what they're calling about. And the Monk? He practices phone blackout rules even when there isn't an election in the offing.
UPDATE: We prefer the old-fashioned lawn sign pilferage method of influencing elections in Minnesota thank you very much.
Monday, November 06, 2006
WORST DATING STRATEGY EVER
I can't help thinking that if this guy didn't get laid after the tour, it's just not going to happen. EVER.
More importantly, $20 says he's a Souter clerk.
More importantly, $20 says he's a Souter clerk.
Friday, November 03, 2006
WHAT KIND OF KICK DO YOU GET?
Chilly days (and frigid nights) are back in the Twin Cities and I have been happily introduced to a trashy mystery/thriller series by an acquaintance. Quick reading page-turners are perfect for this nesting weather and these ones are funny to boot.
The series "heroine," a not very competant but very lucky bail bondsman from New Jersey, lives in an apartment building with her pet hamster and a bunch of old geezer neighbors. This excerpt is from the finale of the third book. A bad guy has reflexively tried to shoot the hamster after being bitten:
The series "heroine," a not very competant but very lucky bail bondsman from New Jersey, lives in an apartment building with her pet hamster and a bunch of old geezer neighbors. This excerpt is from the finale of the third book. A bad guy has reflexively tried to shoot the hamster after being bitten:
I had one foot in the hall when I was grabbed from behind and yanked back into the apartment by the man wielding the syringe. I kicked and clawed at him, the two of us wrestling for our lives in front of the door. My foot connected with his crotch and there was a heart-stopping moment of immobility where I saw his eyes widen in pain, and I thought he might shoot me, or stick me or smack me senseless. But then he doubled over and tried to souck air, inadvertently backing out the door, into the hall.Just thought some equally chilly Spitbull visitors might enjoy the kick...
The elevator door opended, and Mrs. Bestler jumped out with her walker. Clomp, clomp, clomp with lightning speed she stomped down the hall and rammed the man, knocking him to his knees.
Mrs. Karwatt's door crashed open, and Mrs. Karwatt trained her .45 on the man on the floor. "What's going on? What did I miss?"
Mr. Kleinschmidt came shuffling down the hall carrying an M-16. "I heard a gunshot."
Mrs. Delgado was right behind Mr. Kleinschmidt. Mrs. Delgado had a cleaver and a blue steel Glock with "sidekick " rubber grips.
Mrs. Karwatt looked at Mrs. Delgado's gun. "Loretta," she said, "you got a new gun." "Birthday present," Mrs. Delgado said proudly. "My daughter Jean Ann gave it to me. Forty calibar, just like the cops use. More stopping power."
"I've been thinking of getting a new gun," Mrs. Karwatt said. "What kind of kick do you get with that Glock?
