Monday, December 27, 2004
ANOTHER ADDITION TO THE ANNALS OF FECKLESS COOKERY
On Christmas Eve the Warrior Monk got domestic. He tried to make Kellogg's® Rice Krispies Treats®. He dutifully melted the correct amount of butter in a saucepan. Then disaster struck: I took over.
I told him I would finish the recipe and asked he get me a beer. If you've ever made Treats® before you know we're dealing with a simple recipe: 3 ingredients, 3 steps. What could go wrong? Really, what on earth could go wrong? [hum some ominous music to yourself at this point]
The only explanation that makes sense to me now is that when I requested the alcoholic beverage the synapses in my brain instantly curled up into tiny tangles, as a sort of preparatory maneuver. I consulted the recipe and dumped in the (pre-measured) Rice Krispies. Then I consulted it again. Uh ... I was supposed to dump in marshmallows, not Rice Krispies. What I had was a warm pan of clumpy buttered cereal. Panic set in.
Mind you, the Warrior Monk had not yet brought me any beer.
Taking advantage of my stone cold sober state I re-read the directions and discovered, in tiny print, directions for the microwave. I grabbed a small bowl and tossed more butter into it. I started up the microwave and fortunately, before the butter was completely melted, remembered to add the marshmallows. No harm no foul.
The combo puffed up impressively in the microwave but retreated when I yanked the door open, neatly averting catastrophe. Next problem: how to fit the (pre-buttered) cereal in the tiny bowl I had selected. Answer: get a bigger bowl. Washing a pot, pan and two bowls for a 3 ingredient recipe is great fun!
What I learned:
UPDATE II: Recipe here.
I told him I would finish the recipe and asked he get me a beer. If you've ever made Treats® before you know we're dealing with a simple recipe: 3 ingredients, 3 steps. What could go wrong? Really, what on earth could go wrong? [hum some ominous music to yourself at this point]
The only explanation that makes sense to me now is that when I requested the alcoholic beverage the synapses in my brain instantly curled up into tiny tangles, as a sort of preparatory maneuver. I consulted the recipe and dumped in the (pre-measured) Rice Krispies. Then I consulted it again. Uh ... I was supposed to dump in marshmallows, not Rice Krispies. What I had was a warm pan of clumpy buttered cereal. Panic set in.
Mind you, the Warrior Monk had not yet brought me any beer.
Taking advantage of my stone cold sober state I re-read the directions and discovered, in tiny print, directions for the microwave. I grabbed a small bowl and tossed more butter into it. I started up the microwave and fortunately, before the butter was completely melted, remembered to add the marshmallows. No harm no foul.
The combo puffed up impressively in the microwave but retreated when I yanked the door open, neatly averting catastrophe. Next problem: how to fit the (pre-buttered) cereal in the tiny bowl I had selected. Answer: get a bigger bowl. Washing a pot, pan and two bowls for a 3 ingredient recipe is great fun!
What I learned:
(1) microwaves are your friendUPDATE I: Margaret of Our House would clearly have had no trouble with this task. Seeking a bigger challenge she trifled her Christmas dessert. Plus two kinds of cookies. But before you think to yourself "boy, I'd much rather snag an invite to Our House than Spitbull's hovel" know this: we're putting in a wet bar next month.
(2) big is better
(3) work fast
(4) drink first (it hardly could have made things worse)
UPDATE II: Recipe here.
